They’ve taken the Love Dare, made desperate attempts to be nice to their spouse, but in the end they’re still met with the same constant rejection (if not even MORE rejection from their spouse) than when they started.

So what’s the problem? WHY isn’t this stuff working?

Well here’s the answer…

• If your spouse has already filed or is threatening to file for divorce…
• If your spouse is having an affair…
• If you’ve tried everything under the sun, but nothing seems to work…
• If your spouse sees you as his/her worst enemy…

…the fact is, when your spouse has reached the “Snap Line”, nothing you DO and SAY will influence your spouse in a positive way. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

If your spouse came from a troubled home and has suddenly started acting like a different person overnight, all of the pain from your spouses’ childhood is now directed at YOU and s/he sees you as the enemy. Everything you do and say is a threat.

But regardless of what your spouse says, don’t put too much emphasis on divorce. Marriage is a legal agreement between you, your spouse and the state.

Who says you can’t get divorced in April and get remarried in May? It doesn’t matter if the divorce goes through or not.

This is about you and your spouse. You can get another legal agreement, but you can’t get another exact duplicate of your husband or wife.

I believe a marriage is over when YOU have given up.

All you’re doing by:

…Trying to STOP divorce proceedings…

…Trying to STOP your spouse from leaving…

…Trying to STOP your spouse from calling/texting other people…

…is putting yourself in an AGAINST mode. You’re putting pressure on your spouse. And PRESSURE is a marriage killer.

It is this pressure that is driving your spouse further away from you day by day.

What you need to do right now is stop putting pressure on your spouse and let him or her make the next move. You need to stay calm under all conditions – no matter what. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t send flowers, letters, cards, etc. All of that is PRESSURE.

After all – in your spouses’ eyes, they’re thinking “why didn’t you do this 10 years ago? If you could have, you would have, it’s too little – too late”.

The ONLY thing your spouse can respond to at this point is the energy that you are giving off and right now that energy is:

• TENSE – about how to act around your spouse
• ANXIOUS – about what might happen next
• WORRIED – about the emotional condition of your kids
• ANGRY – about the chaos your spouse is creating
• FRUSTRATED – about not seeing things improve
• RESENTFUL – about HIS/HER part in all of this
• FEARFUL – about what might happen next

If your spouse came from a troubled home, s/he is running from the childhood pain of the past. I call these people with troubled childhoods “Chaos Kids” because of the chaos they grew up in as a child.

Chaos Kid women are looking to “find themselves”, looking for happiness…Chaos Kid men are desperately seeking respect and trying to avoid conflict.

Your spouse could also be some combination of both of these.

With that in mind, why would your spouse come back to you when it’s just going to be more of the same? The truth is, you haven’t changed. You’re trying to suppress your negative emotions with willpower alone and sooner or later YOU WILL GIVE IN.  It’s just too tiring “trying” to stay positive. And it’s a temporary change - your spouse knows it.

Your marriage problems have nothing to do with your SITUATION, how far along you are in the divorce process or what’s happened in the past weeks, months or years. The only way to get through to your spouse when you are at this stage of marriage/divorce is by eliminating your negative emotions and understanding the source of behavior.

That is the ONLY thing your spouse can feel since s/he is so driven by emotions right now.

Doing or saying anything will be seen as a THREAT.

And THAT is what my Environment Changer program is all about.

• Eliminating your anxiety, fear and feeling overwhelm…
• Shortening your spouses’ midlife crisis…
• Feeling good about yourself in spite of what’s happening around you…
• Drawing your spouse back by SHOWING, (not saying) that things will be different this time…
• Helping your children feel secure in spite of your spouses’ meltdown…
• And creating a NEW relationship 10 times better than what you had before.

So if you didn’t have a chance yet to watch the presentation I’ve created for you, now is the time.

As the saying goes, “it’s always darkest before dawn”. So whether you go through this for yourself (and your sanity) or with the ultimate goal of becoming a family again…

You’ll gain a rare skill few people possess that recently took one of my students who was SUICIDAL, went through financial disparity, separation and DIVORCE, to a genuine (and incredibly enthusiastic I might add) feeling of happiness with himself, his wife and his children – in just 5 short weeks.

The pain you’re going through right now is happening for a reason – if you see this as an opportunity to learn rather than suffer you’ll come out a better husband/wife, a better parent and a stronger person in the end.

Here’s the presentation for MEN

Here’s the presentation for WOMEN

If you have questions, my daughter/assistant Kristen is standing by to help you understand if this is right for you at 262-644-6815.

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Watch the presentation on what brought you to this point and what you can do about it here.

Chaos kids have a phenomena where all of the pain that was dished out into their brain in those first 10 years, will all be directed at you as the present day source of that pain. This makes absolutely no sense but this is the way it works in chaos kids.  The world calls it a midlife crisis and that’s a good term but the snap line is the moment it finally begins.

When the snap line takes place, you are no longer the person he or she used to love.  You are now the cruel parents or parent who dished out all of this nasty treatment on him/her as a little boy or girl.  Your spouse can no longer separate their childhood from the present-day and remember, this only applies to the intimate relationship of marriage  A Chaos Kid does not display any of this irrational behavior in his social or work relationships, those are completely separate planets from the intimate relationship of marriage.

Your natural response is to ask about how to solve this problem.  When you ask how to solve this problem, you are automatically inferring that this problem can be solved in a few weeks with some discussion and understanding on both of your parts.  Your question is inferring that it’s something you need to say and some expert can tell you how to say.  That would be completely wrong.

Once you enter this world of the chaos kid where his childhood comes for him or her, you are no longer married.  You might be still in the legal arrangement called marriage, but you have lost your spouse’s heart.  The only way I know how to save a Chaos Kid is for you to become an Environment Changer.  I teach people how to become Environment Changers in my 8 week course and I try to keep people out of that course whose intuition is not guiding them to it.  I don’t want people in this course who are just ready to poke a stick at the problem.  They will never learn what I’m teaching.

Once the chaos childhood has come for your spouse, you are not in a conventional marriage situation anymore and conventional marriage techniques do not work here.

You are now operating on a whole new set of laws that you don’t want to believe.  Everything is upside down and NOTHING is normal.

But chances are, you are still going at this like it’s a normal marriage and your spouse is a normal person, but there is nothing normal about him or her.  The laws have all changed and you must learn what those laws are.  But you may not be ready to learn what it takes to become an Environment Changer.  This is why I created a one hour video that spells all of this out.  I made one of these videos for women only and one of these videos for men only.

If you skim the video and don’t watch the whole thing, I would encourage you to watch it from start to finish because I address many issues there in these videos that will really put things into perspective for you.

Larry Bilotta

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Listen to the stories of Larry’s Environment Changer program graduates in their own words here.

“I need help.  I recently discovered that my husband is on several online dating sites.  He also lies all the time.  When I confronted him with the evidence he still lied.  He know says that of course he lied when first confronted about it and that he is very sorry he did any of this and that there is no excuse and that it is unforgivable.

He also claims he wasn’t trying to hook up with anyone.  However, his profiles on the sites state he was indeed trying to hook up with people, and so do some emails I found that he sent to women.  I have not found any real proof that he did actually hook up with anyone, but he is such a liar I don’t know what to believe.

I believe that if we didn’t have children I would have already filed for divorce.  I don’t know what to do as I can not trust him.  He is married and joined several online dating sites..what does one do and where does one go from here?  There are other issues..the biggest one being him allowing his mom to control way too much and both of them saying I have no say and can’t do anything about it.  His mom controls his books and checking account for his business etc etc.  This whole online dating site issue is just the newest issue and seems to me like the one that is breaking the camels back in this so called marriage.  Help.  Thx. ”

Marsha’s Answer for Lillie…

“Hello Lillie,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately everything I know about people who lie is that they usually don’t stop because they are afraid of the consequences. Sometimes they do learn to stop lying about the really important things though.

Having children together puts you in a tough spot. Leaving your husband would definitely affect them. I also think that with his Mother in the picture you would have a very hard time financially. Seems like a son who can do no wrong issue.

Have you tried telling him that you would leave him if he didn’t stop the sneaking around and lying?

I know that you are not at peace when he is out of your sight. Very often the stories in your head are always crazier than the things that are actually happening.

You are going to have to get some outside help either for the both of you or just for yourself. My suggestion would be to tell your husband that you are going to either contact your church or a counselor and either he can come with or you are going by yourself. Hopefully you can get some sort of support to keep yourself from remaining so unhappy and affecting your children.

There must have been something that you fell in love with in your husband. I am sure you will in time be happy again either with or without him.”

Marsha

“When we first got married we argued a lot because my husbands family interfered a lot. But our marriage was loving and caring and we spent all our time with the kids. But dint really have any alone time together. My husband has left the home because he says he no longer is in love with me and hes not happy. We argue on the phone and in texts mainly from me initiating them because he won’t communicate with me and I don’t trust him. It makes me feel alone and abandoned. It makes me feel sad and hurt and guilty that I didn’t give him the love and affections that I should have over the years, that I pushed him away and made him feel bad about himself.. I believe that I have learned a lot of life lessons since he left and I feel that I can really change this marriage into a better then before marriage. I can change my whole outlook on the marriage but he doesn’t want to give me the chance and I need to find out what I have to do to make him feel like giving me a second chance to make this right.”

Marsha’s Answer for Shelley…

“Hi Shelley, you got him to fall in love with you once before so maybe you can do it again. If you love him as you say you do then that should be pretty easy.

My suggestion would be to try and be as understanding and positive as you can. If you ever do communicate with him you need to not be needy or demanding. His issues are his and the reasons he left might not even have a lot to do with you. I think you should try to remain friends and civil even if it doesn’t end up with you remaining married. You can’t get inside his head and see what is really going on so don’t beat yourself up. If he feels he can trust you not to attack or blame him he may open up to you.

We all make ourselves happy. People tend to believe that it comes from outside sources but it’s just for the moment. He may find that out and realize that he made a mistake and that his family needs him.

Wish you all the best and if there is anything else we can do just call or write.”

Marsha

“My husband and I eloped in 2006 because my husband lost his job so to lessen his burden we decided to have our family wedding in 2012 when our financial situation is getting better.  In July 2009, my husband hit me in the public library because he was very hungry and he said he thought I did on purpose not typing the right password to the computer.

I think my husband hit me and “lost it” because he heard me saying to him “I married you because you asked me. I don’t love you.” when I got upset at the end of May 2009 while driving because of his behavior that seemed to be intentionally done by my husband to create disturbance instead of harmony between us.  July 2009 was not the first time my husband hit me. It was the first time my husband did multiple times in public.

His brother told him to cut me off. His mother is denial type.  So tell me, can my husband turn back to his good conscience self after forcing me to be homeless without any good conscience at all?

Do you Larry actually think a man like my husband can come back to his good conscience so he can fulfill his own wedding vows including for my parents and myself besides working on our together goals while his brother has told him to cut me off and his mother seems to encourage him to go after other women and his father probably supports his mother’s idea?

My husband has been chiming to this song “I barely can support myself, if I have to pay spousal support, I won’t be able to finish my phd” so that the male judge has been on my husband’s side intentionally delaying the support even it is only temporary support to be enforced to my husband.

Although I sense that my husband does not actually want divorce deep inside his heart, but he is probably too weak as a person to defend that feeling, so he is using a lawyer now that his parents probably is helping him to pay for the lawyer.  Please let me know your honest input as to how all the links about saving marriage non-traditional way can work for my situation with my husband.

Thank you,”
Rachael

Larry’s Answer for Rachael,

First of all, physical violence is never acceptable in marriage, but with that aside, it is productive to think about people who marry according to how much trauma and rejection they had in their childhood. The more pain they had in their childhood, the more pain they dish out in their marriage. I can see that your husband was programmed to lose his temper and hit when he is faced with painful situations. That is a brain program. (Go to http://www.top20questions.com for a thorough explanation of how childhood affects marriage).

You chose a man to marry who has anger in his brain that he is programmed to release when he marries any woman, not just you. You have given me a long explanation of particular situations but if you simplify your story, your husband is running away from you and his family doesn’t like you because you did not give them what they wanted. From what you wrote, his family defends anyone who would threaten a family member and that is a situation you cannot win in. Because you married into a troubled family, and you may have come from one yourself, without unique knowledge, you cannot solve this problem with a man and a family who are completely against you. You cannot use law, common sense, argument, or any kind of force to bring him toward you. In fact, all those things create more tension and end the marriage faster.

You have said nothing about your childhood, so I can’t comment on your side of the marriage. What I do know is that you are asking for financial security from a man, and his family, who will not give it to you. You suggested that your husband is too weak and is being influenced by other people who are protecting him. That indicates to me that he is a sensitive guy who has an angry program in his brain that he cannot control, which explains hitting you. But since he is by nature a sensitive weaker man, he will not be able to stand up to anyone and protect you, let alone control his anger program in his brain.

He is still trying to become a PhD so he doesn’t have a lot of earning power which means you will not have financial security from this man. Most of your explanation is your dealings with the legal establishment and you don’t mention much about the kind of person you are or the kind of person he is or was.

In summary Rachael, there is one fact I know above all else when it comes to marrying a man. A man will treat his wife EXACTLY the way his father treated his mother in that boys first 10 years of life. If you know about the way his father treated his mother in his first 10 years, then you know about your future with this man. When you look at that feature, is it what you really wanted? But I can promise you that fighting and arguing, defending your own point of view and insisting on what you want have never created love.

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Listen to the stories of Larry’s Environment Changer program graduates in their own words here.

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Listen to the stories of Larry’s Environment Changer program graduates in their own words here.

“My husband has already moved out and wants a divorce. His parents have been married for over 50 years and I am my husbands 4th marriage. So I am wondering about the first 10 years of his life. If his parents are still married, why does he have such an issue? He had a good childhood too, so I don’t understand. My parents are still married too and my childhood wasn’t bad either. My dad was really strict, but that’s about it. Thank you.”

Larry’s Answer for Kris,

Hi Kris,

Your note tells me that your husband has been fighting the programming of his parents who stayed married 50 years. I’m sensing he is quite a defiant guy or at least very independent. That means he is a “bucker”, as in a bucking bronco that throws off the rider. He is throwing off his parents programming in defiance to them. If you look in his childhood you should see that he was at odds with either his father or mother. Either one or both parents could not get through to him and he has been defying them ever since. That’s my guess.

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Listen to the stories of Larry’s Environment Changer program graduates in their own words here.

“1) When things were good we had no children, I had endless time to devote to him, and I was not working and going to school. I never told him about a bad day and was on a career path he liked. I had no other obligations so I could hunt, fish, and help him all the time.

2) He’s distant and cold, doesn’t respect me, never tries to find time together. I’m worn out to the point of illness from trying to reconnect him, working a job I hate, and be a great mom. We are in the middle of divorce proceedings I have strong beliefs against divorce, but can’t change his mind.

3) I feel sad that I can’t give my daughter a mommy and daddy in the same house, betrayed that he never could accept that I needed to change careers because I would make less money, upset about the first time he admitted there was anything he wanted me to change was when he asked for a divorce. I’ve brought problems to our marriage and I have felt so trapped by him that it has made things tough on me and pushed me into some serious depression. I feel that he just doesn’t even care to try to find common ground because he likes his ground too much.

4) I don’t know what I can do to fix things, but I’m working on changing careers now, and am also working on being myself again and loving myself again. I think we could work it out if he would quit trying to “fix” everything for me and let me fail from time to time so I can learn and grow. I’m willing to accept him as he is, however I need to have a life/career I am proud of and enjoy and to not be confined to working 60+ hours a week in a job I hate and am no good at. We have a child and lived away from family…we can’t both work that much each week. Now he doesn’t want me to work because he’s scared I will get sick again, but resents me being at home and thinks I will hate all careers just because I hate this one. I’ve been trapped, but I want to work it out for my daughter…she deserves it…and my husband and I still get along and have never fought so I want it to work. Is there anything I can do? Divorce agreement has already been drawn up.”

Marsha’s Answer for Bea,

Bea,

“It sounds like you are the one in the relationship that is trying to make it work.

Is he willing to work on it? If he has mentally and emotionally checked out then it is up to you and you alone to work on the marriage. One thing you need to focus on right away is keeping yourself calm and sane for your child.

Having never fought just means that someone has kept everything inside. It is really hard to fix something that isn’t acknowledged.

My husband Larry has a video that I think will help you understand where some of your husband beliefs are coming from about your career. The video is titled “Why You Fight” and you can watch it here.

Larry teaches that it’s important to understand WHY your husband has the beliefs and values that he does. It’s also important you clearly identify what your belief system says about a man and a woman’s role in marriage as well as your husband’s.

I would suggest you submit your story to my husband Larry’s Second Chance program for an opportunity to speak with him. Larry will give you a much clearer perspective on your situation so you can develop a plan to save your marriage. You can find more information about this here.”

Marsha

“Marsha, My husband and I have been married for seven years, we dated for two years before marriage and we were the best of friends for five years before that. The first years of our relationship and marriage was awesome. The two of us connected in ways that you only see in cheesy Hollywood romances. I always felt like he was my guardian angel and he called me his muse and together we lived in our on alternate reality.

However, things have just gone steadily down hill. He has become angrier and more controlling-to the point of violence. I love my husband and I know that he loves me. I have left several times and went back. This past January I left and after much chaos, I have our children and we live in a separate town than him. At first we didn’t talk at all, then we did and now he says that he doesn’t want to hurt us anymore and is isolating himself from us and his mom and the world. Without him in my world I feel empty, without life-void even. I can’t breath. I hurt all over, literally. I feel as if I am a zombie and I just go through the motions of the day. Please help us. We both fight bi-polar disorders and the few times that he gets on the phone with me I can tell he is sinking further and further into depression. As for my children, they have had their world turned upside down. Once they were sweet innocent children who made good grades and left and played together, but now they fight and yell and I get letters home from school almost daily.

Please help us. I have been going to counseling but it doesn’t help. The children go but all they can think of is dad and how he is not a part of us anymore and on the rare occasion they see him it doesn’t seem like him. I try real hard to put on a front for them, but they see through me.

My husband and I truly love each other. Have you ever seen the movie Hancock with Will Smith? This is how I feel we are–irresistible drawn to each other, but a destructive force of nature together.”

Marsha’s Answer for Nicole…

“I believe the best chance for you to get some answers is to talk to my husband Larry. Would you and your husband or just you, be open to setting up a call with him?

If you are open to it, you can submit your story for a complementary call with Larry who will be able to give you some great insight into your situation”

Marsha

“My husband has been in an emotional affair for 10 years. We have been married for 45 years. He says it is over, but I don’t believe him. She is his business partner. I am at the end of my rope. How do I live with this?”

Marsha’s Answer for Shirley…

Dear Shirley,

“All I can do is tell you what I would do. I can’t guarantee anything but I am a fighter so that is what I do.

If this woman is his business partner then he will always be around her.

Did he break it off or did she? Have you ever confronted her? Did you just recently find out about this? If you haven’t heard her side then I am not sure you can believe his.

I would arrange a meeting or at least a phone call. Get all the facts and then you can decide what you need to do next.

I hope he is telling you the truth and that you can somehow remember the best of the 45 years and that will overshadow the worst, but this is where I would start.

Also, my husband Larry wrote an article on emotional affairs that may help you work through this that you can find here.”

Marsha

“My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now and for five years he has wanted to get married to me, but I have a fear of marriage and especially divorce. I feel that after two kids and one on the way that I am finally ready to get married to him, but I also feel if I don’t just do it now then I probably never will. Am I ready to get married?”

- Tiffani

Larry’s Answer for Tiffani…

Tiffani,

Of course you are not ready for a legal commitment.  You fear commitment (marriage) greatly and your fear has created a legal situation that’s not favorable to you or your children.  Marriage is a legal construction between you, your man and the state you live in.

This legal construction gives you legal rights in society that the unmarried do not have.  When you just live together and produce children together, you have no legal rights to the money and assets produced and owned by your boyfriend.  Your children have your father’s name, not your boyfriend.  In an argument about who should the children live with (in a breakup) the law is not on your side because the law applies to people married under the legal institution called marriage.

After five years, you’re not married because you have seen the unhappiness of devastated marriages and you don’t want that pain for yourself.  Your solution was to remain unmarried but live like married people do.  You and your boyfriend have had to answer questions like “Who will the children live with if we decide to divorce?”  and “How much of your money belongs to me and “MY” children?  Your children struggle too because they are not sure why other kids have their dad’s last name, but they don’t.

Your wording in this message tells me you are riddled with insecurity and uncertainty.  That means you have a lot of fear about marriage and if you fear it now, you’re really going to fear it when you’re in it.

My advice is that there is a lot about yourself and your boyfriend you don’t know but should really learn.  Until that time, and until that fear of commitment goes away, you will stay as you are.

Larry

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program

Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY.

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife are now happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.

Listen to the stories of Larry’s Environment Changer program graduates in their own words here.