Tiffani’s Question For Larry… “My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now and for five years he has wanted to get married to me, but I have a fear of marriage and especially divorce. I feel that after two kids and one on the way that I am finally ready to get [...]

William’s Question For Larry… “Larry, My wife has told me that there is another man she wants to see and has feelings for but is not in love with him. It has been going on for about five months. She also says she loves me and is in love with me but not like she [...]

Kat’s Question For Larry…

Hi Larry,

I can’t say my marriage of 32 yrs was ever really good. My husband, I just learned from your site, is a chaos kid. There was one affair while we were engaged, I found out about when I was pregnant with our 1st child. There are at least 3 others since. The last was over the top. I started as an emotional affair 5 1/2 yrs ago…

…I thought I loved my husband, but how can I love someone who has destroyed our finances and put our entire family in real danger. Three kids and 1 baby grandchild, I really want him to leave but he refuses to. I don’ t believe he will ever quit. I have tried to forgive him. But I don’t think I can. Am I stupid to try again? He refuses to talk about it…

Jeffrey’s Question For Larry

Hi Larry,

I’m married for a month and a half year. My wife is from another country and we met at a library. Things seemed great and then she asked me personal questions in my life and I lied about some things out of shame.

We got into shoving matches and stuff and now she left home. She told me how shes fed up and she doesn’t love me anymore. Now I’m at a loss there’s so much too tell that I want help with but I want this marriage to work and I don’t know what to say or do she seems to get madder at me and it hurts Larry like my soul is gone and I do believe we are chaos kids cuz of our rough pasts.

I believe that I can help her in school and be a better husband for her but she’s so hard to reach and ignores my calls a lot. So Larry what do I do is it too late? I don’t know but i love her more than anything how do I show her? Thank you for your time I hope to hear from you soon before its even more too late.

Larry’s Answer To Jeffrey:

Hi Lisa, thanks for your question.

Look at your husband’s first ten years of childhood and you’ll see that there was a parent who was highly insecure and highly suspicious. That suspicion is built into his brain. It more than likely has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. He has a program that says a woman cannot be trusted and all women do is lie.

The amazing part of this is, he has no idea that this brain instruction is there. He cannot see it. He can only see what the program tells him. I cannot know this for sure, but from your email without knowing any additional information about your situation, he likely has a program imprinted in his brain from childhood that tells him something like “All women are liars. You cannot trust them.”

All of us obey the programs of those first ten years and few of us can disagree with forceful messages that interpret real time events to match up with our first ten years. If you want to learn more about this subject I call “Chaos Kids”, go to www.fulfilledcouple.com/blog and you will find an internet radio series that might give you more insight into your situation and on Chaos Kids. Also, to the right of this blog there is a video titled “Why You Fight” which will further help to explain what the Chaos Kid phenomenon is all about.