Most emotional affairs start out as an innocent friendship. You see each other often, go out to lunch every now and then, share your thoughts and feelings with each other…so where’s the harm in that?

For starters, just like a drug…emotional affairs can be ADDICTING.

Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in the first place? They certainly didn’t get married with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did they do it?

Many “infidelity experts” on the internet will get you focused on finding solid PROOF that will expose your spouse or catch them “in the act”. But instead of putting all your effort in finding proof of adultery, your energy could be better spent first understanding what went wrong with the two of you in the first place.

It’s fairly common for “chronic” cheaters to go looking for some other relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult for them. Cheaters are often programmed to cheat in their first ten years by being raised by an immoral mother or father who considered cheating to be perfectly legitimate.

A common question I receive is “How can I restore the intimacy in my sexless marriage?”

If there’s one subject in marriage where you can find a flurry of expert opinions, it’s got to be intimacy. It’s a supercharged topic for men and women but the reason they’re both charged up is not the same…

When women search for the answer about restoring intimacy when sex has disappeared, they’re not thinking about sex like men do. Men have a tough time understanding this so to help answer the question more accurately, let’s first look at two groups of women.

Those who are emotionally secure in themselves and those who are not. For emotionally secure women, sex is her end game, only AFTER her man takes care of his responsibilities. When he works to make her life easier, cares for her emotionally and is a great father to his children, then her emotions urge her toward the physical act of sex which her husband’s behavior has drawn her to.

But for women who are emotionally IN-secure, it’s a different story.

I know firsthand what it’s like to be in a painful marriage because back in the 90′s I was trapped in a marriage made in hell. Like you, I also wanted to know what to do first, second, third. I wanted exact steps and I wanted relief. I was desperately searching for some way to overcome the tremendous amount of pressure, stress and tension I endured day in and day out.

But unlike you I wasn’t looking for a way to save my marriage – I was too selfish for that. What I needed was to save my own SANITY because my wife didn’t believe in divorce.