Hi Chelo,

Every week from around the world I get people who tell me this story. Details are different but here’s what is the same: They fall in love with a person but did not know anything about their childhood.

Even if they find something out about that childhood like you did, they don’t know what it means to their future. I go into detail to explain this in my video “Why You Fight”.

It’s really not about fighting as we think of it, yelling etc. Your husband is not a fighter. He is an emotionally damaged man from a pain filled childhood. Today, there is a ball of instruction in his brain that is demanding that he get back to “Normal”, and normal is the conditions of his childhood.

That ball is driving him, tormenting him and he has no idea what it is. You’re on the receiving end of this ball of instruction and it’s painful. The ball is not him and he is not the ball. That’s why it’s so confusing to you now.