What Every “Good Wife” Should Know About Her Husband
Welcome to another edition of “The Insider’s Guide To a Happy Marriage”.
This week we’ll be covering the first of another 2-part series that will reveal the CRITICAL “ingredient” you’ve been overlooking in your marriage.
IMPORTANT: If you fail understand these critical components of marriage, your chances of divorce are DRASTICALLY increased.
Let’s face it.
SOMETHING in your marriage has to change. When most women “fall out of love” with their husband they think they’re lacking the romance in marriage.
Men, in this same situation, think it is sex that is missing from the marriage. So who’s right?
NEITHER….BOTH men and women are missing the target completely. There are two substantial needs that men want and two entirely different needs that women desire.
Both men and women have no idea how to communicate these needs to each other resulting in frustration, separation and quite often…DIVORCE.
Over the next few minutes, you’ll learn the 2 greatest needs of a man that 99.9% of women DON’T KNOW about their husbands…which often costs them their marriage.
(Hint: If you DO meet these 2 needs for your husband, you’ll notice an immediate improvement in your marriage and in the way he treats you.)
While EVERY woman knows that men are interested in women and sex, what they DON’T realize is that when men have affairs, they are virtually NEVER are about sex.
Don’t believe me? Keep reading, I’ll explain why…
Affairs are really about the 2 most overlooked and unmet needs of a man. The reason I say “overlooked” is because MEN cannot even explain these needs.
Because *I* a man, I’ve experienced this myself. For over 40 years of my life, I couldn’t explain my needs either.
It took me 40 years to FINALLY identify what men really need from women…
1. Men Need Respect
2. Men Need Sexual Intimacy
HOLD ON! Before you jump to conclusions by saying “Oh I already knew that”, what I’m about to explain WILL SURPRISE YOU…
MEN AND RESPECT: NEED #1
Sure, men can at times appear to be like animals when it comes to women and sex, but let me tell you…..THAT’S JUST AN ACT.
If you want to see what men are really like in action, take a look at how an affair works… A man becomes interested in a woman who is NOT his wife because she gives him large doses of respect on a regular basis.
And without even realizing it, this woman tells this married man (that’s a key word for you…TELL) that what he does is SMART, CLEVER, INSIGHTFUL, CUTE and all around GOOD.
When a man hears this, SOMETHING in him lights up and generates the feeling he calls respect. And as long as the woman is in pursuit of this married man, she continues to TELL him these things.
Now I know this may come as a shock you….wink…wink… 
…..but its common practice for a woman to stop TELLING a man these GOOD things once she marries him.
This man then becomes starved for RESPECT.
But instead of giving him the respect he needs, many women decide that they need to FIX the man they married. They do this by TELLING their husband everything that he does WRONG.
These women actually believe that their criticisms will correct their husbands’ faults.
A good strategy? I think NOT.
I’ve talked about what happens when you give a man respect…and then take it away…but WHY do men need respect in the first place? To help you understand, I need you to picture this…
You and your husband are at a dinner party with your friends and their husbands.
The subject of housework comes up. You start complaining about your husband in front of him to all your friends and their husbands.
You ramble on about how you always have to tell him more than once to take out the trash and how late he is whenever it’s HIS turn to pick up the kids.
You even bring up his feeble attempt at making dinner one time…
Now here’s the million dollar question: Why don’t wives know that they are destroying the one thing that could make their man happy?
Why don’t women understand that TELLING a man what’s wrong with him will absolutely shatter any chance she EVER had of getting her two greatest needs in life met by her husband?
A man does NOT want to look weak, incompetent, and stupid…
…ESPECIALLY in front of people he knows. Doing something like this to your husband or anything like it, takes away his respect and dignity leaving him feeling bitter, angry and resentful.
Now let’s move on to need #2…
MEN AND SEXUAL INTIMACY: NEED #2
Most people don’t know this, but…
Most men are NOT drawn into an affair for sex. They are drawn to any woman who will give them RESPECT.
Once a man is respected, he feels great. He feels that he can protect this woman from any threat. He feels that she is his most important prize in life.
The woman who respects a man is his fountain of youth. She gives him a reason to go on living in spite of the rest of the world rallying against him.
When a man feels this way emotionally, he wants to connect with this woman…..and to do that, it must be physical.
I’m sure you already know that men have something women don’t have. They’ve got this built-in pressure that demands to be released, some experts say, every three to seven days.
Women have no interest in this male need and no ability to understand it. A man has a physical force in him that pushes to connect physically with the woman who respects him.
It’s not sex a man wants, its sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy is NOT sex. Sex pleases only the man, but sexual intimacy is all about a man’s ability to physically please a woman.
In order for a man to want to fulfill a woman in this physical way, it takes a lot of work, concentration and concern on his part.
He has to be patient; he has to focus on her. He has to be sensitive to what she is feeling. If he does ALL of that, then he experiences a great reward. This woman gives him what EVERY man wants more than life itself…..
The ultimate male message…“You Excite Me!” This is a man’s greatest reward for sexual intimacy.
At this point, I hope you’re beginning to see how respect and sexual intimacy are tightly locked together for a man.
If you criticize everything about your husband, you’re starving him and preventing him from getting what he needs to feel fulfilled in your marriage…his 2 most important needs…respect AND sexual intimacy.
In the next edition of this newsletter, you’ll discover the two things women need MORE than anything in life.
Regardless of your gender, you’ll find out what you can do to get your spouse to meet YOUR two greatest needs in the conclusion of this 2-part series.
I guarantee…you’ll soon find out that a romantic, intimate and fulfilling marriage is not as difficult as you might think when you’re “armed” with what you’ll discover in Part 2 next week.
Until then, stay tuned for the next newsletter titled “What Every “Good Husband” Should Know About His Wife.”
Until next time,
To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,
Larry Bilotta
P.S. Stay tuned for the next newsletter issue because we’ll be switching gears to cover what every “good husband” NEEDS to know about his wife!
Developer of the “Environment Changer Program -
Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed
——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com
About Larry Bilotta:
Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90’s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.
He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!
Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife have been happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.
Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.
At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.
Share Your Feedback With Larry!
6 Responses
Reading this, makes me realize that I haven’t been giving my boyfriend the Respect that he deserves lately. We are going through such a hard time. I am not sure if you remeber talking to us over the phone? We got our baby back, and are still fighting to get my older two girls home. It really has hit our relationship hard! We haven’t been intimate in months. I miss it, and think that some physical contact would help relieve some of the stress. I will try your advice and use words that give him respect to see if it helps. I hope he will be glad to hear them, since it has been a long time. Please pray for us and our family that our “fight” is soon over. (I hope you remember.) Thanks.
I think you could be right. But I find it rather hard to respect him when he does not seem to know what he wants with me. We have been leaving together for 15 years without harmonising our union in church or any other formal setting. He says I am yet to satisfy him and he is still ‘measuring me up’. So am angry. Can he tell me what he wants? I want to go on with my life! He also does not ‘measure’ up to my ‘ideal’ husband, but I believe that is only human and the journey of life involves knowing each other more every day!
So why keep me in suspense, after two children and a third coming up? (which, by the way he has rejected)?
Jane
This works! I could go on and on and give you proof of the absolutely perfect advice Larry gives about men (and women) – but simply –
IT WORKS! LIKE A CHARM!
It worked on my ex – we know have a good co-parenting relationship.
It worked on my friends – we are more open and honest.
It worked on my family – they are so grateful for my new approach.
It worked on my kids – calm, peaceful, happy, fun house!
It is working on my current boyfriend – he responds to me in such a different way than I was used to…a way that is so perfect for me.
Thanks Larry -
Debi
As I read through the comments on my various blogs, I notice there are two different writers. The first does not know what it means to be an environment changer while the second writer does. The writers who know about how to change their environment write confidently, positively, are optimistic and solution focused. The readers who do not know what it is to change environment talk about problems, focus on issues, explain their bad feelings and terrible events. The contrast between these two blog post writers is stark.
Learning to eliminate your negative feelings is one of those few skills in life that really can (and will) change your life. -Larry-
Hi Larry and thank you for your kind letters full of knowledge and experience. I have give a lot to resqued my marriage even when I found my wife sending letters to another man, I most say that I have failed to support the fellings and goals of my wife making her feel apart. Now I changed and I’m helping her to understand that we both can make it and that is worth the effort, after all we both thought that we were the most wonderful person in our lives one day. Uhmm that has to have value in our hearts. So we are here trying, but without promises, just giving what we want in the best quality possible, and it is working, thanks Larry I’m proud to say that I’m a man and I love my wife and I’ll fight for her and our family and she started doing it too.
Hi Jesus,
Thanks for writing and it’s encouraging to see that you are putting a very positive feeling out to your wife so that she feels safe with you. I hope you will find a way to make it a way of life as well.
Larry