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Welcome to another edition of “The Insider’s Guide To a Happy Marriage”.

Today we’ll be covering the 7 deadly marriage sins that 99.9% of spouses make when their spouse has filed for divorce or told them the marriage is over.

Whether you believe in the The law of attraction or the old saying, “What goes around, comes around”, the following 7 ‘Deadly Marriage Sins’ are a sure way to put your marriage on the fast track to divorce.

Now while you’re reading this, realize that YOU are not DELIBERATELY doing these things to destroy your marriage, but rather something inside you is driving you to do them.

You know that “little voice inside your head” that puts negative thoughts in your head from time to time? Well that little voice only gets STRONGER and LOUDER as your marriage gets WORSE. This little voice tells you what to do.

It tells you how to SABOTAGE your marriage.

My goal is to make you AWARE of these 7 deadly sins so you can think twice next time you’re about to make one of these fatal mistakes that can and WILL cost you your marriage, should you continue to listen to that little voice.

Okay, with that out of the way, let’s move on…

Deadly Sin #1) Thinking about, talking about and DWELLING on everything your spouse has done WRONG.

This deadly sin can be avoided by practicing the techniques taught inside The Secret . If you haven’t read the book or watched the movie, The Secret teaches you that you must have gratitude for what you have and you must focus on what you want, NOT what you DON’T WANT.

If you dwell on what your spouse does wrong, you’re going to get MORE of what your spouse does wrong. Yes, I know this sounds simple, but it is a very powerful concept. You must focus on good things in the future that are going to happen.

Think of it this way: Let’s say you’ve just ordered a new book from your favorite self help author. While you wait for your book to arrive, you anticipate the arrival of that book by thinking about the complete transformation your life is going to take on once you read and apply the life-changing concepts and strategies in the book. For some, this may sound like an exaggeration, but this can apply to ANY new purchase you make.

Let’s take the example of buying a new sports car.

In this case, you envision yourself cruising along the highway in your brand new car. You think of the infamous “new car smell” you’ll experience each time you set foot in your new vehicle. In a more practical car, you might think of how much money you’re going to save in gas through your smaller, more economical vehicle. No matter what the scenario, the key here is that you are envisioning the benefits of something you don’t currently possess.

Deadly Sin #2) Spending energy trying to TELL your spouse to STOP doing everything wrong.

As mentioned in Deadly Sin #1, it’s very important you stop thinking about what you don’t want. Instead, focus on what you DO want and have gratitude for what you have.

Do you really think you’re going to change your spouse’s behavior by telling him/her to STOP doing this…or stop doing that? Of course not! Chances are, telling your spouse what NOT to do will only add fuel to the fire making things worse.

Tell me, when in history, has it been effective to tell someone what was wrong with them only to have them suddenly turn around and become wonderful? Nobody’s behavior improves because someone else told them what they were doing was WRONG.

Deadly Sin #3) Being DEFENSIVE against every attack your spouse is sending your way.

As you know, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same result. When you’re dwelling on problems, you’re going get more problems.

Are you starting to see a pattern yet?

If you defend yourself by attacking your spouse, naturally, your spouse will do the same to you. Rather than immediately transitioning into “defensive mode”, understand that your spouse is only acting this way because his/her needs are no longer being met. Think of it as a wake up call that it is time to do something positive in your marriage…before it’s too late.

Deadly Sin #4) Telling loved ones and close friends all about how hard your life is.

It’s easy to get caught up in the trap of looking for pity from other people. All you want someone to validate your thoughts and actions. At home, it’s very likely that the only words you hear out of your spouse’s mouth (if s/he is even speaking to you) are “you did this wrong, you’re doing that wrong, it’s all YOUR fault”.

So naturally, it comes as a great relieve when a “third party” tells you, “S/he has no business treating you that way!”

It feels very good when they do that. You say to yourself, “Finally I’ve got someone on MY side.” You feel like you’re right. You feel validated.

But once you get a little pity, you become addicted and you come back for more. Before you know it, you find yourself going back to this person again and again for support.

If this person is of the opposite sex, this could eventually turn into the beginning of an affair.

Deadly Sin #5) Showing an interest in men/women online, becoming addicted to porn or healing your emotional pain by shopping.

Very often people who are suffering from a troubled marriage turn to the internet for relief. They either go to online dating sites for singles or become addicted to pornography.

Rather than spending energy trying to improve their marriage, they focus on other men/women which leaves them with very little to give to their spouse. They are now focused on every other woman/man other than the one they are supposed to love. They compare these “fantasies” to their spouse and the spouse comes up short.

All their energy is now being directed towards chasing other men/women for the thrill of the chase.

Some people seek out relief through spending money which often drives them into debt. All they’re doing is putting a temporary fix on a bigger problem. It’s the same as an eating or even drug addiction. You eat, shop, do drugs, etc. to temporarily shut off the pain.

All of these mistakes will only add to the laundry list of problems you’re already faced with. Whether you’re damaging your finances or your body, you’re not dealing with the true source of your pain…the important issue of all…your marriage.

Deadly Sin #6) Predicting a bleak future.

Are you sealing your fate by predicting a bleak future? If you’re guilty of this deadly sin, you’re likely telling yourself, your spouse, your friends, your co-workers and your family that, “if this is happening now, its going to happen in the future.”

No matter who you’re saying this to, it is one of the most common, yet damaging mistakes that will absolutely seal your fate if you don’t do something to change your mind set today.

If you focus on a bleak future, you’re going to get a bleak future. The Law Of Attraction in it’s simplest form is, “what goes around, comes around”. If you’re focusing on all the things that are WRONG in your life, all the negative, you’re only setting yourself up to get more of it.

Deadly Sin #7) Pleading and begging to forcefully get things back to normal even if you have NO understanding of how you got into this mess in the first place.

What you’re really doing in this deadly sin is “asking for normal without understanding what went wrong”.

It’s no different from a child who got them self deep into trouble and in an effort to clean up the mess, they fake it and act like nothing happened.

Children don’t want to face consequences for what they have done. This is truly the epitome of living in a fairytale world.

There is NO SUCH THING as “I just want to get back to normal” without knowing what normal IS and knowing how you got to normal in the first place! You need to know what you did right and what you did wrong to prevent it from happening again in the future.

If you believe like the vast majority of people do, “what goes around comes around” or if you’re familiar with The Secrets’ Law Of Attraction, you have to do 2 things to solve the 7 deadly sins.

First, be thankful for what you have.

Just to get you started, here’s the phrase from the secret. “I am so happy and grateful now that I have _____”

Here is a partial list:

These are the things that all of us take for granted. And when you take these things for granted, they become invisible and discontentment takes over your life.And when you become discontent, you look for everything to become discontent about.

Now you’re condemning what you have.

You can avoid this by focusing on what you want.

But first, you have to decide what it is that you want. If you want your wife to care about you, you have to envision her caring about you in the future.

This means you have to imagine a future of her talking with you, holding your hand and looking at you. But it’s important that as you do this, you have to not focus on the immediate (negative) events of the present. If you do that, you’ll get sucked into these 7 deadly marriage sins.

Now in order to focus on what you want and have gratitude for what you have, you’re going to have to shut off that force, or that “little voice inside your head”, that urges you to act on these 7 deadly sins.

This little voice is what you need to control and eliminate from your life as much as you can. If your marriage is in trouble, that voice is the reason. If you don’t understand what it is, what it does or how it works, you’re never going to be able to avoid each and every one of these deadly sins.

I can teach you how to eliminate your negative feelings. My free email mini course will get you started on this path, but if you want the whole answer, and you want it to be personal to you, then i encourage you to become one of my students in the Environment Changer program.

I have a 90+ % success rate in helping individuals change the people around them by getting rid of that little voice inside their head.

If you want to talk about how to do this, I’d be glad to speak with you through my Second Chance program so I can talk with you personally about your situation.

Until next time,

To a LESS stressful and MORE fulfilling marriage,

Larry Bilotta

P.S. Stay tuned for the next newsletter issue because we’ll be covering the 3 biggest marriage myths that can destroy your marriage.

Developer of the “Environment Changer Program -
Stop Your Divorce Today – Without Your Spouses’
Participation Even AFTER The Papers Have Been Filed

——-> www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com

About Larry Bilotta:

Larry Bilotta has been teaching couples how to restore their loveless marriages since 1995. Back in the 90′s, Larry was suffering MISERABLY in a loveless marriage.

He needed a way to reduce the stress, anxiety and tension in his marriage. Not because he was devoted to his wife, but because he needed to maintain his own SANITY. Larry’s wife didn’t believe in divorce…but at the same time, she told him he could leave her…in a body bag!

Needless to say, Larry set out on a mission to find a REAL solution to their ongoing struggles. And after 27 years of misery – he finally found it. Today, Larry and his wife have been happily married for 34 years…and they’re closer than ever.

Larry is one of the few marriage experts who actually transformed his OWN marriage and today, holds the key to bringing back a marriage from the brink of divorce – even AFTER the papers have been filed.

At the core of Larry’s teachings is his “secret method” that allows individuals to transform themselves from the inside out, and positively influence their spouse as a result. By learning to eliminate their negative feelings in just 60 seconds, Larry has taught individual spouses how to completely change the environment of the marriage through his Environment Changer program for the past 15 years.