I Did NOT Cheat On My Husband, But He Is Convinced I Did. What do I do?

Hi Lisa, thanks for your question.

Look at your husband’s first ten years of childhood and you’ll see that there was a parent who was highly insecure and highly suspicious. That suspicion is built into his brain. It more than likely has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. He has a program that says a woman cannot be trusted and all women do is lie.

The amazing part of this is, he has no idea that this brain instruction is there. He cannot see it. He can only see what the program tells him. I cannot know this for sure, but from your email without knowing any additional information about your situation, he likely has a program imprinted in his brain from childhood that tells him something like “All women are liars. You cannot trust them.”

All of us obey the programs of those first ten years and few of us can disagree with forceful messages that interpret real time events to match up with our first ten years. If you want to learn more about this subject I call “Chaos Kids”, go to www.fulfilledcouple.com/blog and you will find an internet radio series that might give you more insight into your situation and on Chaos Kids. Also, to the right of this blog there is a video titled “Why You Fight” which will further help to explain what the Chaos Kid phenomenon is all about.

read more

How To Understand Your Husband: The 5 Most Important Questions To Ask

When you have a husband who is doing something clearly wrong, you become a “nag” in his eyes when you threaten him in a yelling tone that condemns him. Unfortunately, that does not get a woman what she wants. What she wants is a man who is tuned into her feelings and is a good provider financially.

When you marry a man whose childhood included a troubled father, a troubled mother or both, you are marrying a damaged human being with very negative instructions in his brain on how to be married. Your marriage is not the results of what you do in your adult life.

The quality of your marriage is the result of the programs you are both given in childhood. Despite what most people think, THIS is what determines the happiness level and the length of your marriage.

read more

My Wife Had an Affair, I’m Having Trouble Forgiving Her. How Can We Still Go On?

Mo’s Question For Marsha…

Hi Marsha,

“We had a beautiful life where we shared everything. We saw each other every day for 18 months before we got married. We stayed the same after marriage and had a lot in common.

After we had children, my wife had postpartum depression which I didn’t notice because we moved to a new country for a new job. She doesn’t care for the children at all and I had to always remind her to take care of everything.

It makes me feel that she wants to enjoy life care-free while I have to take care of everything. I cannot have responsible for anything as she always fails to do it. I became so upset, I started scaring her to get things done.

She had an affair for two and a half months with someone and I discovered it last month. She left home citing that she has mixed feelings and she did it as revenge. She said they only kissed by I highly suspect that they slept with each other as she went to his apartment.

She still lied to me about the details of the affair and therefore I believe we cannot go on as I don’t trust her. What shall I do? I’m steaming with anger about being cheated yet I love her and don’t want to loose her.”

Marsha’s Answer to Mo:

read more