Shelley’s Question for Marsha…

“When we first got married we argued a lot because my husbands family interfered a lot. But our marriage was loving and caring and we spent all our time with the kids. But dint really have any alone time together. My husband has left the home because he says he no longer is in love with me and hes not happy. We argue on the phone and in texts mainly from me initiating them because he won’t communicate with me and I don’t trust him. It makes me feel alone and abandoned. It makes me feel sad and hurt and guilty that I didn’t give him the love and affections that I should have over the years, that I pushed him away and made him feel bad about himself.. I believe that I have learned a lot of life lessons since he left and I feel that I can really change this marriage into a better then before marriage. I can change my whole outlook on the marriage but he doesn’t want to give me the chance and I need to find out what I have to do to make him feel like giving me a second chance to make this right.”

Marsha’s Answer for Shelley…

“Hi Shelley, you got him to fall in love with you once before so maybe you can do it again. If you love him as you say you do then that should be pretty easy.

My suggestion would be to try and be as understanding and positive as you can. If you ever do communicate with him you need to not be needy or demanding. His issues are his and the reasons he left might not even have a lot to do with you. I think you should try to remain friends and civil even if it doesn’t end up with you remaining married. You can’t get inside his head and see what is really going on so don’t beat yourself up. If he feels he can trust you not to attack or blame him he may open up to you.

We all make ourselves happy. People tend to believe that it comes from outside sources but it’s just for the moment. He may find that out and realize that he made a mistake and that his family needs him.

Wish you all the best and if there is anything else we can do just call or write.”